Friday, March 04, 2016

Here is my process for determining who to vote for in tomorrow's Republican caucus in KY

Here is my process for determining who to vote for in tomorrow's Republican caucus. A candidate gets one point for "No," a half a point for "Mabye" (or the equivalent), and zero for "Yes":

Question
Trump
Cruz
Rubio
Kasich
Does the candidate discuss the size of his own or other candidates' intimate body parts?
Yes
No
Yes
No
Does the candidate think that the Supreme Court's Obergefell decision on marriage is "the law of the land"?
Yes
No
No
Yes
Does the candidate give evidence that his mother failed to wash his mouth out with soap on appropriate occasions when a child?
Yes
No
We're beginning to wonder
No
Is there evidence that the candidate's pro-life position is politically contrived?
Yes
No
No
No
Does the candidate have a tendency to quote Italian dictators and, on occasion, act like them?
Yes
No
No
No
Is the candidate an ideologue on free trade, even if it costs American jobs?
No
Maybe
Yes
Yes
Does the candidate have a penchant for schoolyard taunts of the "neener-neener" variety?
Yes
No
He's on  his way
No
Does the candidate believe that gay rights trumps religious freedom?
No (but also wants the right to shut down Mosques)
No
No
Depends on the day of the week
Does the candidate have a problem following basic rules of decency and decorum to the point of evincing a need for the administration of some kind of electric shock to be administered practically every time he opens his mouth to speak?
Yes
No
No
No
Did the candidate think Iraq was was a good idea (when it mattered)
Maybe
Not certain
Not certain
Yes

2.5
10
7.5
7.5


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

If Trump is the nominee, will you vote for him in the general election?

Martin Cothran said...

No.